10 Ways to Torment Your Enemies
by Un Petit Diable
Summary: [Complete]HBP made you want to hurt Snape or just hate Snape and love the Marauders then come on into the Marauders' [Warning: SnapeLovers, stay away]
1. Torment 1 and 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of J.K. Rowling's creations. **

_A Marauders' Presentation _

**10 Ways to Torment Your Enemies **

Featuring: Snivellus

PG- Hello, hello! Prongs here, the dashing leader of the Marauders, and we're here to help you humiliate that special person. -PG

PF- Right, Prongs… except for the dashing part because that would be me, Padfoot.-PF

M- Moony here and ready to help you (unlike those two) to torture your enemies with good blackmails, pranks, and humiliations. -M

W- I'm Wormtail and this will feature our number one enemy, Severus Snape. -W

PF- You should see his hair! Actually, you shouldn't…it is butt-ugly and greasy! Nothing like my beautiful hair.-PF

PG- Not to mention he called my beautiful flower a 'Mudblood'! -PG

PF- It's always about Lily, isn't it, Prongs?-PF

PG- It's always about the hair, right, Padfoot?-PG

M- How about, it's always about him trying to find out my secret? -M

W- Moony, you said it in the book! The readers will now know! -W

M- Relax, Wormtail, I didn't say the secret; we could be old and wrinkly by now anyway! -M

PG- On the other hand, our kiddies or grand-kiddies could read it!-PG

PF- Or great-grand-kiddies or great-great-grand-kiddies or- -PF

M- -Completely random people. Wormtail introduce our first torment. -M

W- Your enemy probably has a nickname- -W

PF- Thanks to me! -PF

W- That story could be used for good blackmail or you could just let it slip. -W

PG- People are likely to ask, 'Why do you call him that?' -PG

M- We call Snape, Snivellus, and you're about to find out how he received that name. -M

**Behind the Nickname**

Remus Lupin was quite nervous for his first day in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He was a Pureblood, but different, a difference he hoped no one will know. He was looking for a compartment when a pale boy with greasy, black hair, and a large nose blocked his path.

'Excuse me, you're blocking my way,' Remus said timidly. The last few days were difficult for him and frankly he was tired.

'_Excuse me, you're blocking my way,' _the boy mocked taking a good look at his pale face and small tired figure. 'Did the train run you over or something or did you always look like filth picked up from the street?'

Remus didn't do anything but remained silent.

'Or are mommy and daddy too poor to feed their own precious little boy,' he continued to mock.'

000

James Potter and Sirius Black had met getting aboard the train and had done nothing but argue.

'Oh please, I've got charms, skills, and looks,' James boasted. 'And I'll be the Quidditch Captain one day!'

'With that messy hair and glasses, you have geek written all over you,' Sirius said smugly. 'I on the other hand look like an angel -a dangerous angel.'

James was about to respond when they both noticed a really greasy, not to mention ugly, boy about to hex someone who looked really sick.

'HEY, you there!' James watched as Sirius pointed his finger at the greasy-haired boy, yelling, 'Leave him alone, or I'm going to hex your arse off!'

The boy chuckled as the pale, brown-haired boy on the floor quietly slipped off meeting James. 'What are you going to do, flip your hair at me?'

'No, the question is what are you going to do, now that your victim is gone?' James said from behind him. The sick looking boy was with him. 'See, I have –what's you're name?'

'Remus Lupin,' he answered quietly.

'See, Remus is with me,' James smirked. 'Are you willing to do three against one?'

The greasy-haired git just growled and left. Sirius, James, and Remus instantly became the best of friends.

000

Peter Pettigrew was a Half-blood wizard and he was really nervous as he saw Professor McGonagall lead the rest of the first year through the wooden doors of the Great Hall. Picking up his pace, he ran up the stairs quickly to catch up, but he tripped and caused some serious accidental magic.

The greasy-haired kid in front of him was not lucky as the spell hit him. He sprouted a pig nose, rabbit ears, penguin wings, and duck feet. Knowing nothing else but the first thing that popped into his head, the greasy-haired boy started crying hard. It was more like wailing if not like a cry of a banshee.

Peter quickly got to his feet but wasn't about to help the kid he recognized as Severus Snape. After all, the kid hexed him on the train.

Snape thinking no one else saw him, quickly got up sniveling, and put on his hood to head to the Great Hall. Unfortunately, someone did saw him -some people that quickly made friends with Peter Pettigrew. Turning around, he saw the three boys from the train laughing at him. Without able to contain himself and unable to use his wand because of his wings he started wailing again.

The boy he recognized as Sirius Black, who was at the verge of tears of laughter, pointed at him, 'Look at him sniveling! That's what we should call him, Snivellus!'

The four boys quickly went into the Great Hall, not wanting to be blamed for something they didn't do, and Snape, well, Snape just cried.

---

M- Now that the first is over, let's move on to the second. -M

PG- Your enemy is most likely to continue bugging you. –PG

PF- Including, calling foul names, which will not be mentioned.-PF

W- They're also most likely to pick on the weakest link, this case, me. -W

M- You have to show your enemy that they can't mess with you. -M

PF- Ours involve: neon pink, -PF

PG- Some feathers, -PG

W- And a giant egg. -W

**No One Messes With Us**

Severus Snape was heading for breakfast when he noticed three Gryffindor girls.

'Who slips little pieces paper in your bag asking random questions?' the brunette said. 'Mine asked what my most hated colour is, I'd say neon pink.'

'Mine wanted to know my favourite Muggle bird,' the dark-haired girl thought for while. 'I'd say ostrich; they're funny looking. What about you, Lily?'

The redhead looked at her friends, 'Something I always have for breakfast, and I'd say an egg.'

Snape shook his head at their idiotic behaviour and sat down at the Slytherin House table. If they didn't know who wrote them, why bother answering the stupid questions? Muggle birds indeed!

000

James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were innocently eating breakfast keeping an eye on the Slytherin table.

'Did you give them those papers?' Sirius asked Peter.

'Yup, I slipped them in their bags earlier today,' Peter answered.

'Well, then did Snivellus hear them answer the questions?' James asked.

'I know he did,' Remus said taking a drink. 'I was right behind him when they did.'

'Then all we have to do is wait until he takes his first bite and let it all fall into place,' Sirius's eyes twinkled with a mischievous glint.

000

Snape started feeling weird after taking a bite of his toast. The next thing he knew was that he was feeling very uncomfortable. It was like his bones were rearranging themselves. With no self-control, he was standing on the table letting out a huge '_SQUAWK!'_

The Great Hall burst out laughing, including the Slytherins. Even the professors couldn't suppress a small smile. Four mischievous Gryffindors took in the sight with great satisfaction. Standing on the Slytherin table was an ostrich that looked so much like a greasy-haired Slytherin. Actually, it was the greasy-haired Slytherin known as Snape. The neon pink feathers made him look more like a flamingo than an ostrich, but did it really matter, they both had really long necks, legs, and a fat body.

Snape, clearly embarrassed tried to get out of the Great Hall. Unfortunately, the grand finale just happened then, making ostrich/ flamingo Snape lay a huge egg.

---

PF- The best thing was that we didn't have a reputation as pranksters back then and we escaped without getting caught.-PF

PG- However, after our other pranks, people did catch on eventually. -PG

M- Snivellus of course wasn't too happy. He took drastic measures for revenge. -M

W- Keep turning the page for the next torment. -W


	2. Torment 3 and 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of J.K. Rowling's creations. **

_A Marauders' Presentation _

_**10 Ways to Torment Your Enemies **_

_Featuring: Snivellus_

PF- Padfoot here, and it is time for the next segment of '10 Ways to Torment Your Enemies'. Aren't you all excited? -PF

PG- Padfoot, all they did is turn the page; I doubt they need to be reintroduced. -PG

PF- That's what you say, Prongs! -PF

M- Just so you know, I'm rolling my eyes and wondering how I became friends with those two idiots. -M

W- Our next prank/ torment takes place in the DADA classroom. -W

PG- As you might have heard, the position is cursed and no teacher has lasted over a year. -PG

PF- In our second year, we had a really hot teacher named Cassandra Glacier, and dear, old Snivelly had a crush! -PF

M- Therefore, our next segment involves getting embarrassed in front of an older crush. It's also revenge on him for trying to make us late for every class in the beginning of the year. -M

W- Here is our lovely little part. -W

**Class Distraction **

Severus Snape has always loved the Dark Arts. Ever since he was little, he'd read up on them. This made Defence Against the Dark Art more fun for him. Not only did he read up on the given assignment, he did extra research on the dark creatures, spells or things they were supposed to defend against. Especially this year, his second year, after all, Professor Glacier was an amazing teacher.

In the classroom, he took his usual spot in the front. He watched as the idiotic Gryffindors, the Slytherins were placed with, came in. Black, Lupin, Potter, and Pettigrew had on their usual smirk that always meant something bad.

His attention was taken over by the Professor. She was more beautiful than a Veela in his opinion; her long, silky, dark hair, almond-shaped, sparkling, blue eyes, and creamy skin...

'Mr. Snape, will you please open your book?' he snapped out of his thoughts to see Professor Glacier glaring at him. 'For the third time, Mr. Snape, we're about to discuss the creature Acromantulas. I'm sure whatever you were drooling about can wait.'

Snape blushed as he heard the snickers from his nemesis and his crew. Professor Glacier was beautiful and usually kind but didn't tolerate troublemakers.

000

James had a big grin on his face when he saw Snape make a fool of himself. He also could tell that Sirius was laughing his head of quietly. This was perfect; he now knew exactly what to do to seek revenge on Snape.

In the first few days of school, no matter what he and his friends tried, they'd always end up late for every class. They eventually went to Professor Flitwick who removed the charm cast on them. Later they knew for sure it was Snape, but they had no proof whatsoever.

'The Babbling Charm,' Remus whispered. 'He'll say whatever that comes to his mind.'

'And because we're in DADA,' Sirius smirked. 'His thought should be revolving around the graceful Glacier.'

'You two read my mind,' James gave a huge mischievous grin. 'Peter, it's time to do what you do best, a distraction.'

Peter nodded enthusiastically. He started rocking back and forth on his chair "accidentally" falling over and crashing into the girl behind him. This sent his book flying at the front of the class, receiving the teacher's attention.

'Mr. Pettigrew, are you all right?' asked Professor Glacier, picking up his textbook.

Peter nodded walking up to the front of the class to retrieve his book from her. During this time, Sirius and James quietly slipped away to cast the charm.

'Did you guys do it,' Remus asked once everything was back in order.

James's face held a huge grin, his eyes were sparkling behind his glasses, and he could hardly sit still.

'Have you ever failed us before, Remmy?' Sirius asked stretching his arms.

'That's not exactly what I asked, Sirius,' Remus rolled his eyes and sat back with his friends, waiting for the fun to begin.

000

'Okay, to start things off, what exactly is an Acromantula?' Professor Glacier asked.

Severus's hand shot up in the air. He'd do anything to get back on her good side.

'Yes, Mr. Snape,' she pointed at him waiting for a reply.

Snape opened his mouth to respond when he heard _them_ snicker again. Shooting them a dark glare, he started to respond once again, but closed his mouth. He felt a weird wave of magic in him. Shaking it off, he tried to say, "Acromantulas are giant, deadly spiders whose legs could reach up to fifteen feet" but he ended up saying, 'Oh Cassandra, your name is like the moon shining above upon me. You're eyes are like the river rushing by, and your hair is like the velvety night sky.'

Snape placed his hands over his mouth and turned ten shades of red. The class started laughing at his poetic recital and Professor Glacier looked furious. 'Mr. Snape, what is the meaning of this? How many times must you disrupt my class today?'

"I'm sorry, Professor, it won't happen again," that was what Severus tried to say but what people heard was. 'Oh, my _darling_ Cassandra, will you marry me? Together we'll live happily ever after.'

More embarrassed than ever before in his life, Severus gave his dirtiest look towards Potter and his crew misfits. Those four were laughing so hard that Pettigrew couldn't breath and Black was on the floor.

'Mr. Snape,' Severus turned his attention back toward the Professor. He could tell she was trying hard to keep her temper in check. 'Get out of my class _now_.'

Severus was about to refuse, but decided to keep his mouth shut but there was no way he was leaving for something he didn't do!

'GET OUT NOW!'

On the other hand, maybe he was.

000

James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter congratulated each other as they came laughing out of the classroom at the end of the lesson. Nothing made a good day more perfect than seeing Snivellus Snake humiliated.

---

PF- Well, our dear readers, what did you think? Didn't like it? WELL WHO ASKED YOU? -PF

M- Ignore the twit and here's the next segment before he kills himself. -M

PG- Just so you know, we did this because he hexed Peter and hung him by his underpants in Moaning Myrtle bathroom. -PG

W- I'm pretty sure the next torment will be pretty clear. -W

**A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words**

James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter –now known as the Marauders- were sneaking into the Slytherin Common Room. It was late at night and all was quiet. Peter would keep watch and would alert them if a teacher was coming. He already did his main part by getting the password to the Slytherin Common Room. While he did that, the other three were going to give a very _un_pleasant visit to a very _special_ someone.

Sneaking into Snape's dorm was easy enough for the three Marauders and it was even better that the all the Slytherins had their own small room because none of them trusted each other. It was also lucky that Snape seemed to be a heavy sleeper. This was found out thanks to Sirius who tripped and made a huge crash but Snape didn't even twitch. Sirius was lucky that Remus had cast a silencing charm on the room and no one else heard either.

'Okay, Siri, take the picture,' James said folding his invisibility cloak. The picture of Snape was a sight to see. A disgusting sight, but a funny sight nonetheless. He was half falling off his bed, wrapped up in a blanket, and was drooling a lot. The worst part was that he was topless revealing his scrawny, pale body, and pink, bunny boxers. It didn't give the tough-guy look he so wanted to pull of either. Then there was the hair. If it was bad in the day, it was disastrous at night. It looked like a bird's nest.

Taking pictures, Sirius was trying his hardest not to laugh. James and Remus pulled on gloves and masks and looked Muggle doctors about to do a surgery.

'Alright, Sirius, stand clear,' Remus said in a business-like manner. 'This could get ugly.'

'Are you ready for Operation: Complete Makeover, Dr. Lupin?' James asked taking out a make-up case.

'Yes, I am, Dr. Potter,' Remus gave him a thumb up. 'Let's get down to work.'

000

The next morning was confusion for Severus Snape. Wherever he went, people stared, started laughing and whispering with the person with them. It was very strange. What could they know that he didn't?

The answer came to him in the Entrance Hall. Posted on the wall were two pictures of him: a before and an after. It was a picture of him sleeping, including the bunny boxer and everything! The after picture was worse. The blanket was wrapped around him to look like a gown. His hair was done to look like a palm tree, and he was wearing make-up, somewhere in between Goth and princess! Not to mention he was holding a fluffy, white, bunny rabbit!

All around him people pointed and laughed at him. He caught the eyes of the Marauders. James winked at him laughing. Anger building up inside him, he could do nothing but let out a blood-piercing scream, 'AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!'

---

PG- That's it for now! You know what to do if you want to read more. -PG


	3. Torment 5 and 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of J.K. Rowling's creations.**

_A Marauders' Presentation _

_**10 Ways to Torment Your Enemies **_

_Featuring: Snivellus_

PF- The others are taking a break so I'll introduce the next torment. That evil, little, stinking loser did the worst thing possible. I really want to kill him right now. You wonder why? In Diagon Alley before our 4th year, he hit my Cousin Andromeda's daughter, Nymphadora. She was just a four-year-old kid and he hurt her! -PF

PG- Okay, Padfoot's now gone to throw some things and calm down. -PG

W- So before we go to him here's the next thing. -W

M- It involves using your enemy's worst fear against him –or her. -M

**Un-faced Fears**

The Marauders had slipped away to the Shrieking Shack at night. In there, they were brewing a potion. It was dark, very dark, and the only light was coming from the cauldron.

'Okay, give me the hair,' Sirius told Remus. The light-brown haired male handed him a strand of greasy, black hair. Sirius added it –the last ingredient to the potion- to the cauldron as James stirred it.

'So this potion will reveal us people's worst fear?' Peter asked.

'Yup,' Remus nodded. He didn't have to do anything. He sucked at potions. 'We need to say his or her name and put in a strand of his or her hair.'

'It's ready,' James said waving his wand over the potion, 'Severus Snape.'

The four looked at the cauldron which now revealed a picture of Snape's worst fear.

'Oh Merlin, you've got to be kidding me,' Sirius said looking up.

000

Snape was sitting under a tree, reading a book on the Dark Arts when _it_ showed up, the creature of his worst nightmares. Oh, how he _loathed_ those disgusting creatures. Their piercing, black eyes, and humongous teeth were enough to freak him out.

_CHIPMUNKS!_

_Those furry little beasts, murderous they are! Along with squirrels, they are scary too! _Snape thought looking at the little rodent in front of him. He slowly backed away from the chipmunk in front of him until he hit the tree behind him. He looked at the creature fearfully. It was taunting him! It was making poses in front of him and blowing _kisses?_

'Argh!' Snape quickly climbed up the tree. 'AAAHHHHH!'

Too bad he forgot that chipmunks are excellent climbers due to the fact they live up on trees. It was now on the branch he was sitting on, shaking its little butt in front of his face, its little tail going back and forth.

_The horror, the horror! _Snape jumped down the tree and ran screaming into the castle. 'I'M BEING MOCKED BY A CRAZY CHIPMUNK!'

He looked back to see the chipmunk blow him one last kiss.

'Idiot,' muttered the seventh year Lucius Malfoy to one of his companions. 'Being scared of such a silly little thing.'

The chipmunk than climbed up to his shoulder and gave him a big kiss. 'AAAAAAHHHHH, RABID CHIPMUNK!'

---

M- Our next segment involves Quidditch. -M

W- Snivellus thought it would be funny to curse Prongs' broomstick to break fifty feet in the air. -W

PG- Therefore, we took revenge using a broomstick too, though it's much safer. -PG

PF- I still like my idea better Prongs. -PF

PG- It's too dangerous, Padfoot, that's why we're not going to mention it. -PG

**Jealousy and Tryouts**

One thing that everyone in Hogwarts knew was that Snape was jealous of James's skill as a Chaser. It was no surprise when the greasy-haired Slytherin decided to try out for his House team.

'Well, this is one tryout he won't enjoy,' James said menacingly. Some might find it cruel but thanks to Snape, James was on crutches and off the team until he was better. 'Did you guys do it?'

'Task completed,' Sirius grinned.

'I made sure no one will be able to detect that it came from us,' Remus confirmed.

'Where's Peter?' James asked looking around the Quidditch field. They were out there to watch their next prank put to action.

'Oh, he's sleeping,' Remus replied.

'The poor guy's all tuckered out,' Sirius helped James sit down. The three got themselves first row seats to watch the action.

000

'Alright, Snape, you're here to try for Chaser, right?' Lucius Malfoy, the captain of the Slytherin Quidditch team, asked.

Snape nodded.

'Well don't just stand there,' Malfoy said impatiently. 'Let's see what you got!'

Snape scurried to get on his broom. While Malfoy maybe a spoilt brat, he had control of the Slytherin House and it was best not to get on his bad side.

Snape mounted on his broom and was about to fly when the broom jerked away from under him. This caught the Slytherins' attentions. Snape blushed and picked up his broom. Only it pulled away from his grasp again and landed nearby.

'Stupid broomstick,' Snape muttered picking it up, trying to avoid people's eyes. This time he got off the ground about five feet when the broom started to shake violently and then threw him off.

'Ow,' Snape groaned picking himself up.

'Do you know how to fly or not, Snape?' Malfoy glared at him angrily. 'You're wasting my valuable time.'

'I _know_ how to fly! That _broom_ is retarded!' Snape pointed to the stick on the ground.

'That's what they all say,' Malfoy rolled his eyes. 'Alright tryout's over. I'll post who made it in the Common Room later tonight.' He turned to Snape. 'Better luck getting on your broom next time.' Malfoy snarled, clearing the Quidditch Pitch. 'Get off the Pitch you stupid, little buggers!'

Snape growled picking up his broom. 'You mangy little piece of wood,' he muttered. 'Tonight I'm going to burn you to ashes.'

The broom jerked out of his hands and if it was possible he could've sworn it growled. _The broom had actually_ _growled!_

Snape started to panic as the broom started to walk towards him in an animated style. Backing away slowly, he quietly took out his wand as the broom launched an attack on him. It started to beat him up like a father after his teenage daughter's date, or a farmer swatting away crows, or Sirius hitting someone who stole his pie.

Panic-stricken, Snape distanced himself from the broom and blasted it to smithereens. He then ran back into the castle muttering about a haunted broomstick.

000

Sirius, James, and Remus watched the entire thing in amusement. The prank wasn't their best but it did prevent Snape from making the Slytherin Quidditch team.

---

M- Hope you all liked that. Now if you'll excuse me, Padfoot and Prongs are destroying our Dormitory. These revenges reminded them of situations they clearly didn't enjoy. -M


	4. Torment 7 and 8

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of J.K. Rowling's creations.**

_A Marauders' Presentation _

_**10 Ways to Torment Your Enemies** _

_Featuring: Snivellus_

M- In the beginning of our OWLs, Snivellus decided it'd be fun to hex our quills to write the wrong answers. Unfortunately for him, due to our popularity, we were able to borrow some quills. Mind you, he almost got away with it. -M

PF- Therefore, when we saw him after the DADA OWLs, Prongs and I put on a little "hanger" of a show. -PF

W- I didn't do anything but laugh through the whole thing! -W

PG- Lily Evans tried even to help him or persuade us to put him down, and what does the ungrateful slime do? He called her a Mudblood! The nerve! -PG

PF- This was our revenge…involving Potion class and the "talk."-PF

**The Wrong Speech**

Severus Snape quickly copied down his Potion assignment and left the classroom to head back to the Slytherin Common Room. He didn't notice two boys' mischievous grins as he left.

'He'll be surprised to see his homework tonight,' Sirius gave James a high five.

Later that day in the library, Snape went over to the library and took out the parchment with his Potion assignment on it. For some reason, he couldn't remember the lesson from the class. His eyes got wide in shock as he looked over his homework. He rubbed his eyes. No, it was there, clearly in his handwriting.

'Well,' he muttered getting to work, his face held a tinge of red. 'He is the Professor.'

000

'Mr. Snape,' Professor Slughorn called. 'You've always been one of my best. Why don't you share your assignment with us?'

Snape looked unsure and turned red. The rest of the class wasn't so sure why, the Slytherin always showed-off his "amazing" Potion skills.

'C'mon now,' Slughorn motioned him towards the front of the class. 'Read it to us.'

He slowly walked over and stood still at the front. He looked at the rest of the class before starting. 'The old question young kids always ask their parents "Where do babies come from?" is troubling. Later as they grow up the parents give them the "talk." I'm sure you've all received it using the bird and the bees or when a man and a woman love each other--'

'Mr. Snape,' Slughorn gasped as the class broke into a confuse whisper. 'What is the meaning of this?'

'Professor, I'm just reading out yesterday's assignment,' Snape replied flustered.

'What exactly does the "talk" have to do with the theory of making Veritaserum?' Slughorn tapped his foot impatiently.

Snape turned three shades of red then ran out of the classroom. Good thing there were only two Marauders' in that class!

---

PF- The strength and beauty of the Polyjuice potion… -PF

PG- The power of jealousy… -PG

M- And the revenge for trying to spill my secret. -M

PF- Ok, it was my stupidity that Snivellus figured out Moony's secret but he was sworn to secrecy! -PF

PG- Even after I saved his sorry life- -PG

M- However, Snivellus tried to drop hints all over the place and well. -M

W- Here's the torment. -W

**Love Life**

'Why do I have to be the one to drink that gunk?' Sirius looked at the potion in disgust. 'It stinks, not to mention it contains his greasy hair!'

'Because you're the one who can best pull of the act,' Remus poured the potion into a glass, handing it to Sirius.

'But…' James cut off Sirius.

'Padfoot, I spent the month brewing that Polyjuice Potion,' James said shoving the drink into Sirius's mouth. 'The least you can do is pull of the prank!'

Sirius gulped it down groaning at the horrible taste, 'Well, you wouldn't want to volunteer to become Snape either.'

Remus rolled his eyes, 'Wormtail will be following… he'll let you know when your hour is running out.'

000

'Hello, where have you been all my life?' Ariel Song jumped at the strange voice. Turning around she saw the face of Severus Snape.

'You creep!' She stomped on his foot before stalking away.

'Okay, Padfoot, your time is almost up,' Peter whispered.

'Thanks, Wormtail,' Sirius, disguised as Snape, grinned. That was the twentieth female, was Snape in for a surprise.

000

In the Quidditch Pitch, many sixth and fifth year Hufflepuffs, Ravenclaws, and Gryffindors gathered to listen to James Potter.

'Has Snivellus Snake hit on your girlfriend?' James asked.

'YEAH!' responded the guys.

'Girls as he done as much as touch you?' James continued.

'YEAH!' this time it was the girls.

'Then it's time for revenge!' James concluded.

'YEAH!'

000

Snape didn't know what was going on, but all the guys from the other Houses were beating on him -even the Hufflepuffs! Every time a girl passed by from a different House from his, they'd call him a "pervert" or "creep."

'You're so disgusting!' It was the Mudblood Evans, Snape realized turning to the voice. The next thing he knew he was slapped real hard. Now he definitely knew how Potter felt. Of course he still didn't know what they were talking about. Hell, he was going to be sore tonight!

---

PG- It was great seeing Lily yell at someone else. -PG

PF- I'm sure it was, Prongs, I'm sure it was. -PF


	5. Torment 9 and 10

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of J.K. Rowling's creations.**

_A Marauders' Presentation _

_**10 Ways to Torment Your Enemies** _

_Featuring: Snivellus_

PF- _Bubbles, bubbles,  
Toils and trouble,  
Fire burn and cauldron bubbles_- -PF

M- Shut up, Padfoot! -M

W- Our next torment takes place during a ball. -W

PG- This time there was no revenge, just some Halloween fun. –PG

M- In someway, we just wanted Snivelly in trouble with the teacher we mostly got detention from. -M

**Trick-or-Treat**

Snape took a sip of his pumpkin juice. It tasted funny; it was good. It was his seventh year and they were having a Halloween ball. He watched Potter and his crew strutting around with their big heads held up high. How he loathed them. He hated Potter more now that he somehow managed to get hold of that Mudblood Evans. She was one of the only things he could use to get on his nerves. After finishing his drink, Snape suddenly became all misty-eyed and felt more confident and out-of-control.

The Great Hall was in shock when Snape grabbed Professor McGonagall, who was conversing with Professor Dumbledore, and yanked her onto the dance floor. He led the furious red-faced Head of Gryffindor into the Waltz. While dancing and spinning her around, he hummed: _Bubble, bubble, toils, and trouble, fire burn, and cauldron bubble. Bubble, bubble, toils, and trouble, something wicked this way comes!_

Minerva McGonagall tried her hardest, but no matter what, she couldn't free her hands from the seventh year Slytherin's. It was like they were glued together. Was she glad when the song ended?

When the dance finally ended, Snape looked around at the stunned Great Hall. He caught the smirking face of the Marauders' and a giggling Evans in Potter's arms. Suddenly his actions came flooding back to him. He looked ahead to see McGonagall looking like an angry lioness. He shrunk down, cowering in her shadow, smiling sheepishly. 'Heh…heh…'

'Mr. Snape,' McGonagall's said in a really cold tone, 'Detention for a month!'

---

PF- Good times, good times. -PF

PG- I know what you mean, Padfoot. Lily and I were finally together. -PG

PF- Um, no, I meant Snivellus getting detention from McGonagall for once. -PF

M- Anyway, the last torment took place couple months later. -M

W- It's hard to get your work done when time seems to be ahead of you. -W

**Time Fever**

'Hey, Snivellus,' Sirius called in a singsong voice. Snape turned to the voice of the traitorous Black. 'HOO-HOO, HA-HA!' Sirius imitated a monkey. 'That's what you would see when looking into a mirror.'

'No, Black, that's what you'd see,' Snape sneered as James coughed. Sirius gave him a hand signal and James returned it with a nod.

'Well, it was nice chatting with you,' Sirius mocked bow and joined his friends. Snape shook his head in disgust and continued going wherever he was headed.

'Did you two put it on?' Sirius asked Remus and Peter.

'Where it should be,' Remus replied as Peter nodded eagerly.

000

When Snape went to bad, he woke up only what seemed a minute later to the sun.

During breakfast, as soon as he picked up a toast it, was time for Transfiguration.

During Transfiguration, as soon as he took out his wand, it was time for DADA.

In a DADA as soon as he took out his book, it was time for lunch.

At lunch as soon as he entered the Great Hall, it was time for Double Potions.

In Potions as soon as he sat down, the day was over.

After all the lessons, Snape sat down to do his homework. This was kind of hard considering he missed all the day's lessons. A first year came up to him with a note. Professor Slughorn, the Head of Slytherin, wanted to see him.

'Mr. Snape,' Slughorn said pacing in front of the chair Snape was sitting on. 'Might I ask what's wrong with you today?'

'I don't know, Professor,' Snape muttered confused. 'It was like everything was put in fast motion. Every time I got somewhere, it was time for the next thing!'

'Fast motion?' Slughorn stared at him. 'Rubbish! You're now making up crackpot excuses for your laziness. Mr. Snape, you've been nothing but lazy today! During the time the class brews an entire Potion, you only managed to find your cauldron and sit down. This has been happening all day according to the rest of the staff.'

'But I-,' Snape started.

'Get a good night sleep, you have detention for a week,' Slughorn dismissed.

'Yes, Professor,' Snape muttered angrily leaving the room.

---

PG- Okay, guys, I'm afraid that's it. –PG

PF- Hope this presentation gave you inspiration for some fun. You'll notice we didn't reveal how we pulled off most of these pranks, and there's a good reason for that. –PF

PG- Something we won't reveal. Believe me, you don't want to get into half the mischief we got ourselves into. –PG

M- Also we're trusting you people to keep our secrets. Something to one marauder from another. –M

W- Hope you guys enjoyed yourselves. -W

**Moony, **Wormtail, _Padfoot, **Prongs**_

_A Marauders' Presentation _

_**10 Ways to Torment Your Enemies**_


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